Hetalia and neighbouring countries

This WordPress was never meant to be something highly integral, or something that would see wide appeal (except dreamingly in the computer health area). I’ve made posts about the most weirdly irrelevant topics, and that trend will continue today!

I’ve heard fleetingly about Hetalia over the years. “Nation people that do stuff”, was what I pretty much gathered from it.

It has come to my attention that 1) there is a Hetalia character that represents Norway, and 2) that Hetalia has been absolutely awful at portraying the relations between neighbouring countries.

So therefore I will now take on Norway’s nearby connections one by one, and see how well they fit the actual situation that I as a Norwegian experience and witness on a weekly basis.

 

Every quote about the characters will be straight quotations from hetalia.kitawiki.net.

Norway v/x Denmark

“They have known each other since childhood, but while Denmark considers the two of them to be like best friends and believes that Norway thinks the same way he does, he is unaware of Norway’s blunt teasing.” I would say that Denmark is just as teasing the other way, given that Denmark really loves Norway for our old literature (Hamsun), singing speech (when they don’t think we’re drunk), and alpine skiing facilities.

But indeed Norway has a soft spot towards Denmark, largely related to summer holiday facilities, amusement parks, and their love of fastfood facilities.

“Norway frequently refers to him as anko” Uhm… no. I am unaware of whether Norway have a singular mock term for Danes anymore, actually.

“Norway frequently refers to him as anko, a term Himaruya has described as having a nuance like older brother or oniichan, the familiar form of big brother, and having a classmate-like feeling.” Norway do think of Denmark as a some kind of more traditional version of Norway, owing to an early 1900’s language split between us, and that Denmark still has a nobility and a bunch of old castles.

“Historically, Denmark and Norway drifted apart after Norway became oppressed by a more powerful nation.”

?????????????????????

Is the “more powerful” nation supposed to be Sweden? Nazi Germany? France?! Oppressed?!

I mean sure, Sweden’s king in the 1820’s, Karl Johan, was fighting against the barely-started Norwegian nationalism movement, but his fight didn’t last more than a few years.

“When Norway later entered into an alliance with Sweden, Denmark is described as throwing a childish tantrum, cutting their ties, and decreasing goodwill toward him.” That is not how it fucking went, let me tell you!

We declared independence in 1814, except that the winners of the Napoleonic war wanted to give Sweden a victor’s trophy, and decided to give them Norway. We were forced to enter that alliance in order to preserve our fledgling government structure, with the alternative having been a far tighter (and also forced) integration into Sweden.

I mean, I presume that Denmark were pissed off. Then again, this was the 1800’s, a time where Denmark and Sweden were mortal enemies, almost on the scale of North and South Korea.

Also, at the same time as Sweden was given Norway in 1814, the negotiating countries failed to honour Norway’s traditional ownerships of Iceland and Greenland. This were to create some hefty animosity in the 20th century as Norway tried their damned best to regain the rights to their old lands from Denmark but failed constantly, all the way until World War II.

“Despite Norway’s apparent annoyance towards him, Finland has mentioned that Norway spends a lot of time with Denmark.” I do not believe that we currently hold any sort of annoyance against Denmark, in any way whatsoever.

Norway ? England

“In the Christmas Event 2011, Norway and England briefly bonded over their shared ability to see magical creatures.” Mmhmhm… Ehh… I’ll say no to this one. Whereas British popular literary culture entered Norway with full force from the 1950’s onwards, including fairies and whatnot, the UK has not been known to me to show the same interest in Norwegian fairytales.

Norway and England has had many reasons to bond. This is not one of them.

Norway … Estonia

“The two nations are said to share some sort of an acquaintanceship.” We’re like those old plumbing company mates who meet each other on the street 5 years later, and who have the most stilted conversations that are humanly imaginable.

“In the volume 4 omake comic, Estonia writes that Norway is difficult to read but they talk on occasion.” Hmphm… well, I guess we do. We’re both members of many northern European interest organizations, so we do indeed have official ties to them. Norwegians are a population filled with several unusual social customs, that in all other countries would be seen as contradicting each other.

“Norway mentioned that Estonia’s eagerness to join the Nordics frighten him sometimes.” That… is actually completely goddamn correct! We Norwegians have completely forgot everything about expansionism, and think that Estonia are inherently linked to the Baltic countries and ONLY to the Baltic countries (on the grounds that they are countries of similar geographical sizes and their Soviet legacies).

Norway x Iceland

“Norway feels strongly for Iceland, whom he sees as a younger brother to him and as being very important.” We used to see them as very important. Iceland has become somewhat more steady on their own feet since then, despite having had to endure many hardships.

“In return, it is said that Iceland considers Norway to be the home where his heart truly is.” Very close to being true, except that Iceland’s independence have made it so that Iceland’s heart is now on Iceland. Iceland have had to deal with many factors that just isn’t the case in Norway. We’re talking a billion volcanos, melting glaciers, being in the middle of the Arctic sea, and a complete inability to run and maintain outlets of international franchise chains. Norway has had none of that, and therefore Iceland wouldn’t feel at home in Norway anymore.

“It was later revealed that Norway and Iceland are indeed “biological” brothers due to Iceland having been discovered by Norwegians” That is correct. Norway also used to consider Iceland to be a natively Norwegian property up until ca. 1820, as opposed to Iceland being a Danish property.

“though Iceland became irritated at Norway’s insistence to refer to him as a big brother (“onii-chan”).” We’ve got more than twelve times the population of Iceland. Of course we consider Iceland to be a smaller version of Norway.

“Norway feels the need to take care of him and still sees him as a child, a thought that Iceland finds unpleasant.” Once again, and repeat after me: Iceland is independent now!

“One cannot tell if he yields to Norway.” Iceland is still relying on Norway in certain aspects, with Norwegian being a common third language in Icelandic schools (behind Danish), and the reception of Nordic channels on cable and satellite (including a few Norway-based channels).

“The two of them also frequently fight over mackerels.” Iceland would be prepared to fight to their graves over mackerels. You can not underestimate just how very far they would go to be able to fish for their mackerels.

However, Norway and Iceland are somewhat far away from each other geographically, and also have a number of mutual agreements in place to ensure their respective fishing areas.

And there you have it! A lesson about Norway and the Nordics. And stuff. I hope I helped.

(A section about Norway’s personality may or may not be written later on.)

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Hetalia and neighbouring countries

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